I feel very lonely. My husband died a few years ago. The worst thing is that I was not supported by my in-laws. They never took care of me after his death. I was in a job but had to leave it though I need the money. I am frightened about the current situation. I am becoming sick day by day as I am going through depression. I want to travel to feel better but I don’t have friends to travel with plus it is impossible during the lockdown. I did not get into a relationship after my husband’s death. I want to be happy but don’t know how to. Please help ~ Anonymous

02 Jun, 2021 | 14:20

When we put our well-being into another person’s hands, we will always be susceptible. A loss of a spouse is traumatic and nothing can take away your grief. Self-support is the best support — this belief needs to be underscored in your mind. What can I do, with where I am, and with what I have, is a good way to begin. Unfortunately, too many of us do not ask accountability of ourselves when we find ourselves in distress. All problems have solutions, albeit not necessarily the most optimal ones. It is important to direct the mind to find those. That means not allowing oneself to wallow and instead trying to find purpose in what would otherwise be a meaningless existence. As Viktor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”