I have a friend, who seems depressed. His mom (he lost his father when he was very young) said he likes talking to me. I have been trying to find out why he is so sad. I tried asking him about his feelings to which he said that he feels like a destroyer. After he lost his father, the closest person for him was his granny, who died a month ago. His girlfriend also left him two months ago. This has only added to his pain. I just don’t know what to do or say to him to make him feel better. As a friend, what can I do to help? ~ Anonymous02 Jun, 2021 | 14:19
He’s fortunate to have a caring friend in you. Dig a bit and ask him to specify what he means by being a destroyer? Does he believe he’s cursed? That life has chosen him to be the ‘sufferer’? Ideas like these can be quite detrimental to his emotional wellness and in a way will lead him to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our ideas facilitate how we react to circumstances. If he has come to believe that life has conspired to give him trouble, he will find it very hard to cope. One way to help is to give perspective about the things going ‘right’ in his life. The human tendency is to focus on the not so good and we need to train ourselves to learn gratitude and thankfulness. So if you can help him direct his mind to count his blessings in spite of having challenges at hand, you will do him a world of good.